Old habits die hard.

So. Still here.

Lots to write about, that with hectic weeks of thesis writing and what follows that, but since it’s still ongoing I don’t want to say a word about it before its over.

Instead, I’ll tell you about something that happened today.

I’m at a lab retreat. Not my lab, but a sister lab. Since one of the projects I’ve been working on has a strong collaboration with them, my boss, my replacement and I were asked to join the retreat for a few days to discuss it. My boss and I arrived today in the company of a foreign collaborator. The car trip from Lisbon was spend listening to and talking about music, with an idea for a start-up that will make us multi-millionaires popping up in the middle.

We arrived past work time for the people already at the retreat, so the rest of the evening was spent eating, drinking in moderation, talking... you know, enjoying ourselves (although at a certain point some people were singing karaoke). Jabs were taken at my young age and the advanced chronology of certain members of our gathering was brought up in retaliation. I received advice on where to get drunk and what clothes to wear in Cambridge. Science was discussed. Jokes were told. Good fun.

Then people started playing a mimicry game. You got told a name of a person and you had to impersonate him or her. I quietly moved to the side. It’s a fun game to watch, but I don’t really enjoy playing it myself.

Several rounds later, I am told that I’m next. After respectfully declining, I am told that I can’t stand to the side, enjoying myself and laughing at others without putting myself in their position. It’s only fair. C’mon, it’s going to be fun, you’ll enjoy it. Do the next one.

If it’s okay with you, I prefer not to. I really prefer not to. I’m not comfortable doing it. I’m really, really not comfortable doing it. All this is blurted out quickly the second time the question is asked. I fidget. My eyes dart around looking for an exit. A deer in the headlights looks more courageous.

When the evening ends, someone with whom I’ve discussed life, the universe and everything during the past year and takes me aside and apologises for asking me to play. He didn’t know I got nervous about that kind of stuff. That’s good. This used to happen much more frequently. I managed to pull off a full year of witty banter and serious topics looking and acting confident. But take a silly game of mimicry and...

Old habits die hard, I guess.